Am I inspired??

Its been a tiring past 24 hours preparing for a weekly presentation for CCF meeting. Like other people I was gripped by mortal fears of embarrassment before Subir. But the meeting and the consequent events of the day resulting directly or indirectly from the meeting with Subir is definitely worth a blog. Its been a long time since I have been glued to my laptop for such a long time and not socializing on Facebook or Gtalk. I watched "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch on youtube and followed it up with the Ted Talk by Patty Maes on Sixth Sense technology. I dont know how well I can script my feelings at this point of time but to put things straight I feel "inspired". The last two statements from Patty Maes in Ted Talk were quite impacting as was Randy Pausch's entire lecture. All I know is that from now on I will do a sleepless night only to feel proud about it the next morning. Grad life shakes you up....always for good....it tells you what you are made for...I hope I have an answer to that question now!

scientific orgasm...

Sounds weird doesnt it. Grad school and its amusing tastes would be how i put it. MEC E 565 is our good old classical thermodynamics class. It turned out to be classical in the rather more unconventional manner. Our instructor of this course is a fellow bong....Dr. Samik Gupta. Dr.Gupta s reputation as a zealous scientist stands strong among the faculty and grad students. He barges into the room with the flair of the winner of a zillion Nobel prizes....smmiles at the class and starts off without hesitating. Me, Satya Sai and Debjyoti occupy adjacent seats in the class....DJ never stops in his efforts to throw up his humor missiles.....at this point he is discreetly tapping me on the shoulder ( I shall elaborate on the reason a little later ). Suddenly Samik babu stops in his discussion of the Gibbs-Helmholtz equation.....and squirms as he clutches his arms tightly, head facing skywards. And guess what he says as he slowly releases as he regains his positional normalcy.....he says " GIIIIIBBBBBBSSSSSSSSSS". Not much happened after that except for the three of us staring blankly at him trying to figure out what WAS the object of excitement (only to be left more flustered)!!

Now the reason as I promised earlier....he is my thesis supervisor!! GOd save me.

MARRIAGE: ARRANGED OR DERRANGED

They say marriages are made in heaven. But it makes me wonder does heaven actually
devise such comic shows at the rendezvous between the guy and the girl? I have had the privellege to witness a few of these bone tickling laughter shows and irrespective of whether the marriage materializes or not, its one helluva delight for a blogger.


For the sake of avoiding controversies, I shall abstain from mentioning names. After all, whats in a name anyway? Let me just give you a small overview of the scene at the large room seating the guy's and the girl's folks. Its a Tamil wedding to be. He is an engineer ( from where ?...you shall know soon ), she is a to be lawyer. He is ugly and can be passed for absorptivity 1 ( for non-science students, just incase you are wondering, absorptivity 1 is the index for the darkest thing possible i.e lamp black ), she is fair, beautiful,shy and most importantly has already has some 'prince charming' in mind. The only common thing between both of these family is the word ORTHODOX. Hence the girl has not yet been able to muster up the courage to announce that she is suffering from blushing-smiling-insomnia syndrome. No points for guessing that the guy is one among the unfortunate 4 out of every 1000 Indians to have failed to catch the early ( or maybe not so early ) bird. Nevertheless, the scene is all set and the action is just about to kick off.


An assembly of guests occupied everything that remotely resembled a chair. The girl
takes her seat next to the guy whose most marked feature was his complexion matching
dark rimmed frames. " Taak Taak, we are very wopen minded" declared an old uncle with
such a twang that the word talk rhymed with the word mark. Both the guy and the girl sit with hung heads like embarassed children ,being forced to play by their parents. The obvious next pre-engineered question: " so whaare did the baay do his engineering?" "NIT ofcourse, whaare else" someone retorted and melodious laughter ensued ( how hilarious indeed ). For a non Tamilian, it was a bit nebulous whether the laughter was for the cocky presumtion or for the pronounciation ( the latter making more sense ). The girl ofcourse was studying 'La' but as in a male dominated soceity, that did not seem to be too important.


There is something stagy about every arranged marriage interaction. It seems everyone
comes with their dialogues rehearsed. The stand out point in all this ofcourse remains the fact that everyone knows the precise reason why they are there and yet they would force this facade of casualness on each other. Worse still, the marriage according to the stars, is already 'arranged'.....the boy meeting the girl is only incidental. The boy and the girl are allowed to talk in private ( or is it? ). "So you want to be a lawyer?" the guy starts. ( typical engineering brain ). " No, I have been honing in on my culinary skills at the law school for the last four years" says the girl to herself. One of the many dumb questions that the girl has to patiently tackle.Yet she has to nod and smile in assent. "By the way my name is------------" the boy introduces himself. The girl at this juncture is almost semi paranoid that the next question would be " by the way, are we supposed to be getting married?" All the career plans the girl had seemed off the track now. Everything in her life is soon going to be "by the way". " You know, I dont like this whole arranged marriage thing" the boy announces flashing a toothy grin as if sensing her thoughts. The girl heaves a sigh of relief at this and is just about to open her mouth when the boy says " I think we should go around for sometime" ( how romantic ). " Ive done my engineering, you are doing your law, our children wll find it easier to spell the word 'Law'" the guy continues and thereby proceeding to laugh at his own joke. Indeed it is all a joke. And its is rather presumptuous of the oily haired specimen to plan kids and predict their verbal abilities. The girl just stands and gobbles down whatever comes her way all in hope that he is soon going to shut up.


"You are so silent" the guy politely enquires. " I dont know what to say" the girl replies, smiling and weakly defending herself. Not that she had to make an effort to lie about that. On second thoughts she probably thought of a certain Mr.Charming who was the integral theme of her heart. The two now proceed to a 'discreet' corner of the drawing room with thirty sets of ear drums pretending not to hear their conversation. The guy nurses a cup of 'kapi' which her grandmom has most lovingly prepared for him. " Do you plan to continue with your profession?" the guy enquires taking yet another noisy slurp from the cup. " Do I plan to continue this conversation" was what the girl wanted to ask herself. However she stares at the guy blankly to avoid acrimony and confusion. Sensing danger, the girls' folks jump to the rescue. They want this nutcase as their 'damaad' real bad.

"Why dont you sing one of your classics...I am sure he will lou it". The girl's horror continues. She wonders what sense a guy, who has been scribbling mathematical
formulae all this nerdy life, would make of a 'raag'. In a bid to scare or perhaps to express her aghast she starts ranting the most aggressive 'raga' she has ever been taught. However to her disappoinment the guy only sways his head from side to side like a stoned addict in mock appreciation ( the toothy grin remains evergreen throughout ). The rendezvous ends with handshakes and smiles. The girl chooses not to make eye contact with the lizard but like the oil on his hair, he sticks his hand out as a gesture of approval. She only wonders how dark the darkest part of his body would be and shreiks. Indeed the guy really is a wonder who inspires lot of wondering. Exit the guy and his folks.


The drama however doesnt end there. Over dinner the head of the family keeps raving
about the guy's ' quali-fi-ca-shuns'. The girl can only only force the food down her
aesophageus and think of ways to avoid the catastrophy.
Did someone say marriages are 'arranged'????

Figments of Human Intellect

I think the human breed is often quite dumb..proof??

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
'Do not turn upside down.'
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)


On Sainsbury's peanuts --
'Warning: contains nuts.'
(talk about a news flash)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication.'
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding --
'Product will be hot after heating.
(...and you thought????...)

On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap --
'Directions: Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners --
'Serving suggestion: Defrost.'
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
'Do not iron clothes on body.'
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid --
'Warning: May cause drowsiness.'
(..I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights --
'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to what?)

High Hopes

beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
our troughts strayed constandly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had began
Along the long road and on down the causeway
Do they still meet there by the cut
There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay
The grass was greener

The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The night of wonder
Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again


Dragged by the force of some inner tide
At a higher altitude with flag unfuried
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world
Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon

Though down this road we've been so many time
The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river
Forever and ever

----Best ever by Floyd

Gospel Truth

A boy slaps a girl-----first reaction, the guy is abusing the poor female.
A girl slaps a boy-----the guy must have cheated her.

When a husband asks his wife to be a housewife she says------I need my independence and own money.
When the husband says, fine then you work and let me stay back at home and take care of the family------the husband is branded as an incompetent wimp!


When a girl has a crush on a guy, it’s just for fun….and when the guy looks and appreciates some other girl it becomes a fault with his character.


Girl shouts at the guy------she was just trying to remind him of his responsibilities
Guy shouts at girl------how rude!

Girl loses virginity; the guy is the culprit…..looks like people have forgotten their lessons on the human reproductive system.

Did someone say it’s a male dominated society??.....

bengali valentine

Tumi samudra ami aranya, tumi Amit ami Labonya;
Tumi bhugal ami itihaash, tumi Paro ami Debdash;

Tumi Closeup ami Colgate, tumi Romeo ami Juliette;
Tumi Makaibari ami Wah Taj,tumi Shajahan ami Mumtaz;
Tumi Thuja ami Arnica, tumi Clinton ami Monica;

Tumi chiruni ami ayna, tumi Dodi ami Diana;
Tumi bulbul ami tota, tumi Buddha ami Mamata;

Tumi dherosh ami alu, tumi Rabri ami Lallu;
Tumi ucche ami potol, tumi Sonya ami Atal;
Tumi chips ami popcorn, tumi Phulan ami Birappan;

Tumi jilipi ami chumchum, tumi Suchitra ami Uttam:
Tumi hajmi ami toffee, tumi Boris ami Steffi;

Tumi khyal ami gazal, tumi Shahrukh ami Kajol;
Tumi CBI ami greftaar, tumi Sangeeta ami Azar;
Tumi santro ami ciello, tumi Desdemona ami Othello;

Tumi mach ami mangsho, tumi srishti ami dhangsho:
Tumi Ajit ami Mona, tumi Sourav ami Donna;
Tumi eelish ami parshe, tumi Pheluda ami Topse;
Tumi dhakna ami shishi, tumi Katthak ami Odissi;
Tumi Sholay ami Bazigar, tumi Minar ami Chabighar:


Tumi boma ami grenade, tumi Mahakaran ami Brigade;
Tumi Omar ami Laden, tumi Salt Lake ami Eden ;
Tumi Only Vimal ami DCM, tumi Trinamul ami CPM:;
Tumi Raju ami Gopal, tumi Bharat ami Nepal;
Tumi galpa ami kobita, tumi Aishwariya ami Susmita;


Tumi OK ami fine, tumi aniyam ami ayeen;
Tumi bangla ami hindi, tumi tip ami bindi;
Tumi uttejona ami kolahol, tumi cricket ami football;
Tumi jhamela ami gandagol, tumi Pk ami Amol;
Tumi gur ami chini, tumi hulo ami mini;


Tumi gaja ami khaja, tumi Rani ami Raja:
Tumi botua ami pouch, tumi oof ami ouch;
Tumi babbah ami mago, tumi hyago ami ogo;
Tumi superb ami sorry, tumi lekho ami pori