Figments of Human Intellect

I think the human breed is often quite dumb..proof??

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
'Do not turn upside down.'
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)


On Sainsbury's peanuts --
'Warning: contains nuts.'
(talk about a news flash)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication.'
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding --
'Product will be hot after heating.
(...and you thought????...)

On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap --
'Directions: Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners --
'Serving suggestion: Defrost.'
(but, it's just a suggestion.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
'Do not iron clothes on body.'
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid --
'Warning: May cause drowsiness.'
(..I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights --
'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to what?)

High Hopes

beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
our troughts strayed constandly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had began
Along the long road and on down the causeway
Do they still meet there by the cut
There was a ragged band that followed in our footsteps
Running before time took our dreams away
Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground
To a life consumed by slow decay
The grass was greener

The light was brighter
With friends surrounded
The night of wonder
Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again


Dragged by the force of some inner tide
At a higher altitude with flag unfuried
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world
Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
There's a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon

Though down this road we've been so many time
The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river
Forever and ever

----Best ever by Floyd

Gospel Truth

A boy slaps a girl-----first reaction, the guy is abusing the poor female.
A girl slaps a boy-----the guy must have cheated her.

When a husband asks his wife to be a housewife she says------I need my independence and own money.
When the husband says, fine then you work and let me stay back at home and take care of the family------the husband is branded as an incompetent wimp!


When a girl has a crush on a guy, it’s just for fun….and when the guy looks and appreciates some other girl it becomes a fault with his character.


Girl shouts at the guy------she was just trying to remind him of his responsibilities
Guy shouts at girl------how rude!

Girl loses virginity; the guy is the culprit…..looks like people have forgotten their lessons on the human reproductive system.

Did someone say it’s a male dominated society??.....

bengali valentine

Tumi samudra ami aranya, tumi Amit ami Labonya;
Tumi bhugal ami itihaash, tumi Paro ami Debdash;

Tumi Closeup ami Colgate, tumi Romeo ami Juliette;
Tumi Makaibari ami Wah Taj,tumi Shajahan ami Mumtaz;
Tumi Thuja ami Arnica, tumi Clinton ami Monica;

Tumi chiruni ami ayna, tumi Dodi ami Diana;
Tumi bulbul ami tota, tumi Buddha ami Mamata;

Tumi dherosh ami alu, tumi Rabri ami Lallu;
Tumi ucche ami potol, tumi Sonya ami Atal;
Tumi chips ami popcorn, tumi Phulan ami Birappan;

Tumi jilipi ami chumchum, tumi Suchitra ami Uttam:
Tumi hajmi ami toffee, tumi Boris ami Steffi;

Tumi khyal ami gazal, tumi Shahrukh ami Kajol;
Tumi CBI ami greftaar, tumi Sangeeta ami Azar;
Tumi santro ami ciello, tumi Desdemona ami Othello;

Tumi mach ami mangsho, tumi srishti ami dhangsho:
Tumi Ajit ami Mona, tumi Sourav ami Donna;
Tumi eelish ami parshe, tumi Pheluda ami Topse;
Tumi dhakna ami shishi, tumi Katthak ami Odissi;
Tumi Sholay ami Bazigar, tumi Minar ami Chabighar:


Tumi boma ami grenade, tumi Mahakaran ami Brigade;
Tumi Omar ami Laden, tumi Salt Lake ami Eden ;
Tumi Only Vimal ami DCM, tumi Trinamul ami CPM:;
Tumi Raju ami Gopal, tumi Bharat ami Nepal;
Tumi galpa ami kobita, tumi Aishwariya ami Susmita;


Tumi OK ami fine, tumi aniyam ami ayeen;
Tumi bangla ami hindi, tumi tip ami bindi;
Tumi uttejona ami kolahol, tumi cricket ami football;
Tumi jhamela ami gandagol, tumi Pk ami Amol;
Tumi gur ami chini, tumi hulo ami mini;


Tumi gaja ami khaja, tumi Rani ami Raja:
Tumi botua ami pouch, tumi oof ami ouch;
Tumi babbah ami mago, tumi hyago ami ogo;
Tumi superb ami sorry, tumi lekho ami pori

unanswered

Can you look into my eyes for a moment my friend?
I need to know something
Can you look deep into my soul my friend?
I need some answers

Can you see anything?
Can you find anything?
Would you care to tell me what?
Would you care to find out?

Can you feel the pain?
I feel heartbreak
Can you see anger?
I feel let down

Can you feel the hunger?
I've lost so much
Can you see the lies
I've done too much

Can you feel depression?
I am lost
Can you see the tears
I am dry

Can you feel sorrow?
Coz I feel hollow
After the turmoils
And all the pain

Can you look into the depths of my soul
reflected through the window of my eye?
I've tried to search my soul
Maybe I haven't tried enough
Would you help me my friend?
Would you? Can you?

Have seen dawn and sunset on moors and windy hills
Coming in solemn beauty like slow old tunes of Spain:
I have seen the lady April bringing in the daffodils,
Bringing the springing grass and the soft warm April rain.

I have heard the song of the blossoms and the old chant of the sea,
And seen strange lands from under the arched white sails of ships;
But the loveliest things of beauty God ever has showed to me
Are her voice, and her hair, and eyes, and the dear red curve of her lips.

All the love that history knows,
is said to be in every rose.
Yet all that could be found in two,
is less than what I feel for you.

WISH

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

benummed

Now that I have your face by heart, I look
Less at its features than its darkening frame
Where quince and melon, yellow as young flame,
Lie with quilled dahlias and the shepherd's crook.
Beyond, a garden. There, in insolent ease
The lead and marble figures watch the show
Of yet another summer loath to go
Although the scythes hang in the apple trees.

Now that I have your face by heart, I look.

Now that I have your voice by heart, I read
In the black chords upon a dulling page
Music that is not meant for music's cage,
Whose emblems mix with words that shake and bleed.
The staves are shuttled over with a stark
Unprinted silence. In a double dream
I must spell out the storm, the running stream.
The beat's too swift. The notes shift in the dark.

Now that I have your voice by heart, I read.

Now that I have your heart by heart, I see
The wharves with their great ships and architraves;
The rigging and the cargo and the slaves
On a strange beach under a broken sky.
O not departure, but a voyage done!
The bales stand on the stone; the anchor weeps
Its red rust downward, and the long vine creeps
Beside the salt herb, in the lengthening sun.

Now that I have your heart by heart, I see.