They say marriages are made in heaven. But it makes me wonder does heaven actually
devise such comic shows at the rendezvous between the guy and the girl? I have had the privellege to witness a few of these bone tickling laughter shows and irrespective of whether the marriage materializes or not, its one helluva delight for a blogger.
For the sake of avoiding controversies, I shall abstain from mentioning names. After all, whats in a name anyway? Let me just give you a small overview of the scene at the large room seating the guy's and the girl's folks. Its a Tamil wedding to be. He is an engineer ( from where ?...you shall know soon ), she is a to be lawyer. He is ugly and can be passed for absorptivity 1 ( for non-science students, just incase you are wondering, absorptivity 1 is the index for the darkest thing possible i.e lamp black ), she is fair, beautiful,shy and most importantly has already has some 'prince charming' in mind. The only common thing between both of these family is the word ORTHODOX. Hence the girl has not yet been able to muster up the courage to announce that she is suffering from blushing-smiling-insomnia syndrome. No points for guessing that the guy is one among the unfortunate 4 out of every 1000 Indians to have failed to catch the early ( or maybe not so early ) bird. Nevertheless, the scene is all set and the action is just about to kick off.
An assembly of guests occupied everything that remotely resembled a chair. The girl
takes her seat next to the guy whose most marked feature was his complexion matching
dark rimmed frames. " Taak Taak, we are very wopen minded" declared an old uncle with
such a twang that the word talk rhymed with the word mark. Both the guy and the girl sit with hung heads like embarassed children ,being forced to play by their parents. The obvious next pre-engineered question: " so whaare did the baay do his engineering?" "NIT ofcourse, whaare else" someone retorted and melodious laughter ensued ( how hilarious indeed ). For a non Tamilian, it was a bit nebulous whether the laughter was for the cocky presumtion or for the pronounciation ( the latter making more sense ). The girl ofcourse was studying 'La' but as in a male dominated soceity, that did not seem to be too important.
There is something stagy about every arranged marriage interaction. It seems everyone
comes with their dialogues rehearsed. The stand out point in all this ofcourse remains the fact that everyone knows the precise reason why they are there and yet they would force this facade of casualness on each other. Worse still, the marriage according to the stars, is already 'arranged'.....the boy meeting the girl is only incidental. The boy and the girl are allowed to talk in private ( or is it? ). "So you want to be a lawyer?" the guy starts. ( typical engineering brain ). " No, I have been honing in on my culinary skills at the law school for the last four years" says the girl to herself. One of the many dumb questions that the girl has to patiently tackle.Yet she has to nod and smile in assent. "By the way my name is------------" the boy introduces himself. The girl at this juncture is almost semi paranoid that the next question would be " by the way, are we supposed to be getting married?" All the career plans the girl had seemed off the track now. Everything in her life is soon going to be "by the way". " You know, I dont like this whole arranged marriage thing" the boy announces flashing a toothy grin as if sensing her thoughts. The girl heaves a sigh of relief at this and is just about to open her mouth when the boy says " I think we should go around for sometime" ( how romantic ). " Ive done my engineering, you are doing your law, our children wll find it easier to spell the word 'Law'" the guy continues and thereby proceeding to laugh at his own joke. Indeed it is all a joke. And its is rather presumptuous of the oily haired specimen to plan kids and predict their verbal abilities. The girl just stands and gobbles down whatever comes her way all in hope that he is soon going to shut up.
"You are so silent" the guy politely enquires. " I dont know what to say" the girl replies, smiling and weakly defending herself. Not that she had to make an effort to lie about that. On second thoughts she probably thought of a certain Mr.Charming who was the integral theme of her heart. The two now proceed to a 'discreet' corner of the drawing room with thirty sets of ear drums pretending not to hear their conversation. The guy nurses a cup of 'kapi' which her grandmom has most lovingly prepared for him. " Do you plan to continue with your profession?" the guy enquires taking yet another noisy slurp from the cup. " Do I plan to continue this conversation" was what the girl wanted to ask herself. However she stares at the guy blankly to avoid acrimony and confusion. Sensing danger, the girls' folks jump to the rescue. They want this nutcase as their 'damaad' real bad.
"Why dont you sing one of your classics...I am sure he will lou it". The girl's horror continues. She wonders what sense a guy, who has been scribbling mathematical
formulae all this nerdy life, would make of a 'raag'. In a bid to scare or perhaps to express her aghast she starts ranting the most aggressive 'raga' she has ever been taught. However to her disappoinment the guy only sways his head from side to side like a stoned addict in mock appreciation ( the toothy grin remains evergreen throughout ). The rendezvous ends with handshakes and smiles. The girl chooses not to make eye contact with the lizard but like the oil on his hair, he sticks his hand out as a gesture of approval. She only wonders how dark the darkest part of his body would be and shreiks. Indeed the guy really is a wonder who inspires lot of wondering. Exit the guy and his folks.
The drama however doesnt end there. Over dinner the head of the family keeps raving
about the guy's ' quali-fi-ca-shuns'. The girl can only only force the food down her
aesophageus and think of ways to avoid the catastrophy.
Did someone say marriages are 'arranged'????
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